


WHAT COULD GO WRONG?

by trashpup



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Caring Carlos Reyes, Carlos Reyes Needs a Hug (9-1-1 Lonestar), Carlos just wants TK to be happy, Character Death, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Drug Withdrawal, Fist Fights, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt TK Strand, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Miscommunication, No Fluff, Not Beta Read, Overdosing, Relapsing, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, TK Strand Needs A Hug, TK Strand Whump, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, Two Endings, Withdrawal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:55:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26872525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashpup/pseuds/trashpup
Summary: Carlos is taking more shifts at work, TK knows what this means...*There are two endings, the chapter posted directly after this is MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, the last chapter does not contain MCD*
Relationships: Carlos Reyes & Owen Strand, Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, Owen Strand & TK Strand
Comments: 7
Kudos: 80
Collections: L O N E  S T A R





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i am so ~~not~~ sorry for this fic.

Carlos doesn’t tell TK why he’s taking more shifts at work, he merely lets him know that he’s taking more shifts. TK’s mind instantly goes to the worst place and his brain is telling him, “Oh, Carlos _loathes_ you and he’s going to break up with you. He’s just getting you used to him not being around all the time to soften the blow.”

This is detrimental to TK for multiple reasons, one being the fact that he's has gotten so used to Carlos being there with him that he completely forgets the fact that a good chunk of his impulse control is Carlos. So, without Carlos there to restrain him, TK starts going out in between his shifts, unbeknownst to the 126 and Carlos. 

He starts getting involved in fights, and surprisingly, a lot of people don’t want to fight him, but he’s determined to not throw the first punch. The people that do square up represent the people that think TK will be a vulnerable target and they’ll be able to beat him. They underestimate how strong he really is, so when he fights, it gets pretty vicious.

One night, outside the bar TK goes to, someone offers him something. Something that TK doesn’t recognise. TK shrugs and thinks to himself, “Fuck it; who even cares?” He tells the man he’ll take it and trades him a few bills in exchange for the small baggie of pills. He swallows a couple and goes inside. 

TK can feel his heart pounding as he goes inside, examining the place and immediately spots who he’d like to fight. He considers three guys, all slightly bigger than Carlos and a bit drunk already. He figures they’re still capable enough to throw punches in the right direction, hard enough to do some decent damage. TK gets his wish, except things get a little bit out of hand.

Unfortunately, the cops get called, and Carlos’ unit gets dispatched to the bar and he sees TK and his heart drops as he watches his partner go over and put handcuffs on him. TK doesn’t even realise that Carlos is there, or that he’s been handcuffed, really.

He hasn’t overdosed, but there are side effects to the drugs and he couldn’t tell anyone what it was he took so they have no way of helping him. Carlos is freaking out, but since he’s on duty, he has to remain professional, but it’s agonising to just idly stand by and let TK freak the hell out. 

Carlos tells his partner that he’ll take TK back to the station and that he’ll call for another squad car to come help with the three guys. On the way to the station, TK hyperventilates in the back of the car, feeling like he might vomit, he’s in so much pain.

Once they get to the station, Carlos barely manages to get TK out of the car and out of the way before TK vomits, collapsing on the pavement. He’s barely conscious, but his head hurts and he can hardly see through his tears. He just wants Carlos back. 

He can hear Carlos’ voice, though, so he blinks back more tears and tilts his head up to hear Carlos ask, “TK, what happened?”

TK doesn’t offer anything, he remembers that Carlos has been dodging him and he doesn’t deserve a response. Carlos doesn’t try to argue or fight with TK, instead, he helps TK stand up and gets him into the station and deposits him at his desk, taking in the nicely forming black eye and dried blood on his boyfriend’s lip and nose. He has to get answers from TK, whether TK wants to talk or not.

Carlos remembers what TK said when they talked after TK got arrested so many months ago. So, he asks, “TK, what’s making everything grey right now?”

TK wants to scream at Carlos, but he can’t bring himself to yell at the man he’s so in love with. He can’t lose Carlos. Carlos has been the brightest light in TK’s life, the best thing to have ever happened to him.

TK’s voice is quiet as he finally speaks, “I relapsed.” 

Carlos can hear the blood pounding in his ears as TK’s words cut through him. The brokenness in TK’s voice, the quiet way he had said it, it wasn’t the TK that Carlos had grown to adore. TK was hurting, and Carlos thinks he knows why. 

“Is this because I’ve been taking extra shifts at work?” 

TK hesitates before nodding slowly, asking, “You’re avoiding me, aren’t you?” 

Carlos’ heart stops, and he’s silent for a moment, trying to figure out his boyfriend’s thought process. 

“TK, I’m not avoiding you, I promise,” he says, setting a finger under TK’s chin and lifting his head up so they were making eye contact. “There was supposed to be a surprise for you once I had enough money, I never thought about how you might take it. I never meant for you to feel like I was avoiding you. I’m so sorry, baby.” 

TK was trembling pretty bad, but, whether it was from the drugs or the freezing cold air conditioning was a mystery. Carlos felt awful, knowing that he was the reason TK had relapsed. Knowing that he was the reason TK went out and got into a fight. Knowing that he was the reason TK wasn’t doing well.

“This wasn’t the only fight you’ve gotten in recently, was it?” 

“No,” TK says softly, pulling away from Carlos, averting his eyes so he didn’t have to note the disappointed look on Carlos’ face. 

He could hear Carlos moving around, so he risked glancing up, only to catch a glimpse of Carlos putting things away in his desk drawers before grabbing the key to the handcuffs, freeing TK.

“Do you want me to take you home or would you rather go to your dad’s?”

Home. _Home_ was with Carlos, not with his dad. 

TK’s heart skipped a beat. He knew he could trust Carlos; he knew Carlos cared about him. Why was it so hard for him to trust Carlos, then?

“I wanna go home.”

Carlos nodded, thankful that they’d gotten called to the bar at the tail end of his shift. He really wanted to tell TK how incredibly sorry he was, but he wasn’t exactly sure how to put it into words. 

The fact that TK fell asleep on the drive home helped. It allowed him time to concentrate and not have to worry about implying the wrong thing. There wasn’t much keeping TK awake in the first place, so he just let the exhaustion wash over his body. Additionally, it allowed Carlos to drive quickly and not get sassy comments about being an officer of the law. He simply wanted to get TK home so he could properly take care of his boyfriend, especially once the withdrawals started.

They arrived home a few minutes later, Carlos carried TK inside, taking him to the bedroom and undressing him carefully, tending to the injuries he’d sustained during his previous fight. Once he’d gotten TK cleaned up, he slipped one of his old t-shirts on his boyfriend before putting him to bed. 

Carlos went through his own nightly routine before slipping into bed next to TK, letting the smaller man curl up, trembling, next to him. He looked over at his bedside table, reaching over and opening the drawer, feeling around for the small surprise he had. 

He had bought it two days prior, but he had nevertheless agreed to three more days of overtime, which left him with one more shift, which he could call off easily. He needed to be at home with TK, not at work, not leaving TK in the dark, and allowing TK to drive himself crazy with not knowing what was going on. TK was more important to him than his job. He’d be a fool to let TK slip out of his hands now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ***MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH***
> 
> TK can't take the feelings of guilt, it's all too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH! PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO READ CHARACTER DEATH!!!**

When they wake up in the morning, TK feels like shit, but Carlos is right there by his side. TK's not used to having someone be there with him, especially when he very clearly doesn't deserve to have it.

To counteract Carlos being there, TK keeps trying to isolate himself. He starts pulling away from Carlos as much as Carlos will let him. He starts going out and searching for drugs to numb himself. 

He’s chased after the feeling of being with Carlos for so long and now he's trying to numb himself so he doesn't feel like that anymore. He doesn’t deserve to feel like that. To feel protected, loved, cherished, adored, safe, happy.

One day while Carlos is at work, TK calls his dad, telling him that he doesn’t feel well enough to come in. It’s not a complete lie, but TK still feels awful for doing it, especially on such short notice. 

TK ends the call by saying _“Bye dad, I love you”_ which isn’t out of the ordinary. For some reason, it doesn’t sit right with Owen and he can’t place why. 

After finishing up the call with his dad, TK calls Carlos, right before Carlos is due to go on break – which meant his phone was off. He left a voicemail for Carlos to hear when he turned his phone back on. He then turned his own phone off and set it out of reach so he wouldn’t be tempted to turn it back on and call for help even though he knew he didn’t want this anymore. 

\- 

Carlos stretched in his chair, looking at his watch and seeing the time turn to noon. Noon meant he could turn his phone on and call TK if he was available. Noon meant he could breathe for an hour. He turned his phone on and saw a missed call and voicemail from TK and he couldn’t help the sinking pit in his stomach. 

_“I’m sorry I’m doing this over the phone like a coward, but it would hurt too much to tell you in person. I couldn’t tell you through a note because I can’t hold onto anything steady enough to save my life, which is in a way ironic when I think about it,”_ TK’s voice broke several times before he laughed at the irony of the situation. Carlos wanted to vomit. 

_“I’m sorry I couldn’t be a better person, a better friend, a better boyfriend. I’m sorry I couldn’t take care of you. I’m sorry I couldn’t take care of myself. I’m sorry I let it get this bad, I should’ve stopped it when it wouldn’t have hurt so fucking bad,”_ TK was crying. He was taking heaving breaths as he tried to continue explaining. Carlos had gotten up from his desk and walked as quickly as he could to his cruiser, trying to keep his composure. 

_“This whole situation sucks, Carlos, and you deserve so much better than what I can give to you. I should’ve done this sooner. It’ll be better this way, I promise. I love you so much, Carlos Reyes. You have truly been the best thing in my life. Goodbye, love.”_

Carlos couldn’t breathe. His heart was in his throat, and his ribs were crushing his lungs. He tried calling TK back but his phone went straight to voicemail. Nothing about this situation screamed TK was okay. Carlos called Owen and when his phone rang and rang, he ended up leaving a voicemail telling Owen to come to their home.

Carlos turned on his siren, weaving through the Texas lunch rush traffic as quickly as he could. What should’ve been a 25-minute drive ended up a 13-minute drive.

This couldn’t be happening. Carlos barely had his car in park before he was unbuckling his seatbelt and jumping out, running as fast as he could. He had been fumbling with his house key before he managed to shove it in the keyhole and turn it, pushing the door open and running through the house, shouting for TK. 

“No, no, no,” Carlos pushed open the final door, closing his eyes, trying to prepare himself for what could be behind the door. “Please TK, please be okay.” 

Carlos was too late. He didn’t want to believe it. It couldn’t be real. He did not lose TK. There was no way he could’ve lost TK this way. 

He opened his eyes and saw the light of his life laying on the floor of their bedroom. The light had been turned off, Carlos’ reason for coming home at night was gone and he could’ve prevented it. Now there was nothing he could do. It was all his fault, and he could never tell TK how sorry he was.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *LESS ANGSTY ENDING*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's the less angsty (but still angsty) ending.

When Carlos and TK wake up in the morning, TK feels like shit. He feels like someone put him through the wringer and curb-stomped him. Yet Carlos is right there next to him, telling TK that everything will be okay. They say that things oftentimes get worse before they get better and that’s exactly what happens to TK.

Carlos absolutely refuses to send TK to rehab. He wants to be there for TK so he can take care of his boyfriend, after all, this was his fault. All of this happened because TK thought Carlos was avoiding him, that Carlos was giving up on him. On them.

In Carlos’ mind, sending TK to rehab would only be confirming TK’s doubts and fears and TK doesn’t deserve that. TK doesn’t deserve to be given up on. He deserves to have someone that is going to stand by his side through the worst of it. And Carlos decides he is going to be there for TK, no matter what.

While TK is sleeping Carlos and Owen get into an argument over what’s best for him. Owen doesn’t agree with what Carlos wants to do. He’s already tried that before and it didn’t work. Carlos, however, insists he wants to be there for TK, not lock him up in some rehab center. He’s TK’s boyfriend, TK needs him, not strangers. 

TK was not asleep by the end of the argument. He stood in the hall outside the kitchen, listening to his boyfriend argue with his father for the first time. Carlos knew that TK hated rehab, Owen did not. Owen thought that rehab was amazing for TK. 

Eventually, Owen agreed to let Carlos stay with TK instead of taking him to a rehab center. He can truly see how much Carlos loves his son and he knows how strong Carlos is. Together, the two of them can do this.

Carlos takes some time off of work to take care of TK. Of course, it’s going to be hard; withdrawal is hard. TK could jump from one emotion to another, he could go from crying to being angry within minutes. He could beg Carlos for drugs, vomit and then beg some more. 

To Carlos, the fact that TK even let him help meant that he was making progress, it meant that he was very, very slowly getting better. He knew what he was getting himself into when he said he’d take care of TK while he recovered. He loves TK enough to do all the things TK asks him to do, within reason, of course. Even if that means listening to TK yell horrible things at him while he’s going through a rough day. 

The first forty-eight hours with TK were fine. He kept to himself for the majority of it crying in their room, afraid of hurting Carlos when he’s already being too nice to him. He was just waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for Carlos to realise that he wasn’t worth trying to help. 

To Carlos, he was fine having to deal with TK while he was recovering. He knew what he was getting himself into. Carlos loves TK enough to do anything he needs to do to help TK, even if it means getting yelled at. 

A little under a week into withdrawal, TK wanted to give up and relapse again, he forgot how much it sucked. He was burning up but felt cold at the same time. His entire body ached and he felt nauseous whenever he moved. He couldn’t sleep at night and felt like utter shit. 

Carlos comes into the bedroom to see TK laying on the bed, staring at the table in front of him. He wasn’t crying anymore and wasn't talking. TK felt empty, he felt dead inside and somehow, to Carlos, this was worse than anything.

He kneels down in front of TK, but TK just closes his eyes. He can’t bear looking at Carlos, but he doesn’t have the energy to roll over and turn his back to his boyfriend. Carlos, who has been so incredible and helpful. Carlos, who he didn’t deserve. 

Carlos sighs and stands up, telling TK that he’s going to get ready for bed. He won’t try and cuddle or anything if that’s what TK wants. He feels like he’s not doing enough, like he could be doing more. 

Carlos can’t sleep. He lays in bed, staring at the ceiling, waiting for his mind to shut off long enough to fall asleep, but it never comes. Instead, he hears a soft voice telling him to just stop trying to help. 

TK.

“You should just give up on me. I’m not worth it. You could do so much better than me,” TK is crying again, Carlos can tell. “All I do is disappoint you and hurt you.” Carlos can’t help himself when he flips onto his side and looks at TK, trying to respect his boundaries and not touch him.

“I will be here for you forever, TK.” 

“You can’t promise that.”

-

The physical symptoms lessened over the next couple weeks, leaving TK to deal with the psychological and emotional symptoms. He was irritable, snapping at Carlos over the little things. He was anxious and restless and it came out at night, and he would toss and turn in bed, whimpering when the depression settled in. 

“You should’ve let me go, Carlos,” TK mumbles. He’s allowed himself to curl into Carlos’ side, but both arms are tucked against his chest and he won’t allow himself any closer. 

“Maybe I should’ve, but TK, listen to me,” Carlos says softly. “I don’t want to let you go, okay? I want to be by your side for as long as you’ll let me. I want to help you and watch you grow and get better.” 

Carlos leans over to the side of the bed and opens the drawer, pulling out a box and closing the drawer once more. He turns on his lamp and turns back to TK. He holds out the box and lets TK open it to reveal the contents.

“It’s not an official proposal, TK, I’m not looking for a yes or a no. I just want you to know I mean what I say,” Carlos says, tapping TK’s chin so he looks up. His eyes are filled with tears as he takes in what Carlos has said. 

For the first time in a long time, TK actually believes what’s being said to him. If Carlos is still here after seeing him at his worst, he actually does love him. TK looks back down at the ring and tries to blink away the tears that are threatening to spill.

“You--You want to-- what?” 

“Someday, I want to marry you, Tyler Kennedy. I have watched you go through hell and back and I never want to see you go through that again. I am here with you until you throw me to the curb. I will be here for you. I’m not asking you to marry me now. Just know that when and if and only if you feel you’re ready, I’ll be here for you.”


End file.
